i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
