Non-Jews are for practice
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Randomize
