I'm so fucking centered right now
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
