i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
