So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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