are you so shy because you have an std?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
