If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
