Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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