My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
