Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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