How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
