is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
