Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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