Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
