Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
