youre lurking in front of me
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
