He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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