Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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