Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
