A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
