i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
