did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
