What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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