saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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