Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
