so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
