You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize