You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
