You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
