Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
