You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
