Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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