wakey wakey hands off snakey
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
