told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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