You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
