My room smells like vodka and shame
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
