So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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