i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
