Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
