Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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