chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
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