So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
We were destined to go to rehab together
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize