Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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