My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
