He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Success! We fucked roommates!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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