I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
