No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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