ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
This is the high leading the old right now
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
