dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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