so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
The struggles of a small town man whore
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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