I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Randomize
