and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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