Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
