I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize