Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
