she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
