That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
