You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
