So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize