If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
