he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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